天下制覇

  

At least it probably smells like bacon.

Impressions:

Well, this was, uh… different. I was worried from the start that it was going to be an entire episode of found footage recap. Instead, we reached the halfway point and it was still a bunch of random schmucks trying to make their own Iron Man Steel suit. Now, I’m neither a butcher, nor have I built a giant robotic suit except for that one time I conquered Detroit, but I really really have to question their assertion that pig intestines are the greatest more durable and flexible pipes known to man. And are then installed on the the outside of a combat suit. Don’t they all believe that magic exists? I mean… isn’t that a perfectly reasonable explanation for it? Sure, they’re ‘educated’ city folk who don’t buy into those country folks’ cult beliefs, and the horror stuff isn’t well-known, but they have spent the last 15 years burning witches. If not for magic, then for what? Dressing funny? Also, this entire thing is predicated on seeing it fight off multiple gigantic supernatural monsters.

And no sooner do they have the stupid thing awkwardly stomping around town than people believe it to be the great savior who was flying through the air. Not only that, but they’re eager to go off and fight monsters with their clanky monstrosity that can barely even walk. And by monsters, I mean a bear. Which is glowing for some reason. And just shrugs off everything in the standard Japanese antagonist who is ‘super tough’ fashion. And is not afraid of people, giant robotic metal people, or fire. I’m probably being too harsh here since previous monsters were such menacing things as “a tied-up guy,” “a guy in a rack,” and “portcullis” so “a bear” is actually pretty menacing as far as this show’s monsters go. And then Blondie is nearly killed by random shrapnel, just to put an exclamation mark on this bizarre affair.

I expected (particularly from a guy showing up with some random intenstines) that they’d be going for someone sacrificing themselves or being obsessed before either being pulled back from the brink for extra sentimentality or just killed by usual, but instead, it was just sappy sentimentality from start to end about the wonderfulness of random citizens doing their best. I guess we’re just ignoring the villagers out there constantly murdering each other to appease the great poobah in the sky now that Blondie’s in charge.

Next Episode:

Plague doctor.