July 26th, 2014
“Just wanted to remind you that someone totally died!”
There is so much grey area between angstily screaming one’s head off and being completely nerve stapled. And yet all they can do as they watch their city be obliterated in a single attack… a single attack that they put together on the spot, mind you, because I’m pretty sure their plans didn’t involve nuking their own superbot, all they can do is stare with the same glassy look on their faces. Hell, even a “There goes the neighborhood” quip would have been something. Horrible, but something. One also has to wonder why they’re even bothering with the robots if they can just nuke whatever they want from orbit. …And how Earth somehow never realized their neighbors had a billion missiles/rocks and superbots parked on the border.
But anyway besides that, the first half was the usual just pissing around. What are we doing? Sitting here in the hold talking impassively about how dreary things are. It took about fourteen minutes in before… the enemy introduced another supermech. Its super power seems to be “has a lightsaber” which somehow also makes it immune to automatic fire and exposives, and only got sillier as it went, for you see, an entire swarm of good guy soldiers are easily stopped with a swing of the sword, but Eggbot with a little SMG is truly worthy of his attention and standing in place in sheer fascination of his eggness so they can swing some crates at it. That’s right, we’re getting all ewok up in this bitch. Although having shipping crates set up like that seems like something OSHA would object to, but I mean, it’s not like a couple teenagers could set up something like that in the middle of a battlefield in a matter of about 60 seconds, right?