天下制覇

Am I sure this isn’t Valvrave’s actual first episode back?

Impressions:

Returning to our theme of "What are this season’s shows choosing to advertising in its opening minutes," here we have the extraordinarily exciting event of CGI things drifting about and shooting CGI missiles at other CGI things. And this goes on for two and a half minutes. Then it goes from there into the world’s worst attackers. I mean seriously here. Your assets are a knife and being huge. The target is a sleeping girl. At what point does "climb onto the bed and squat over her with your crotch over her knees" become the way to go? And it ends with the youngest of the three sisters, who looks and acts about twelve years old, flying a mecha air goldfish, but I guess we abandoned sense at about the time we decided that the standard "123456789" keypad wasn’t eccentric and special enough and went with a "176924358" one instead. Which only needs you to press four keys to enter a six digit passcode. Yes. That did bother me. Oh, and the goldfish is telepathic or something too. Not the giant mecha goldfish. That’d be silly.

Production’s on the lower end for the majority of the episode and it certainly doesn’t know how to use the CG to do anything particularly flashy. Music’s a little jazzy, which I can dig, but a lot of it is a bit too orchestral and doesn’t really fit well. A lot is also very centered on how precocious the twelve year old is and she spends practically the entire episode conveniently pulling out any random piece of super tech that she needed out of her ass while everyone else is helpless, so for those hoping for some kind of serious action show, guess again. Little girl saves everyone with magical talking goldfish.

But it did make me laugh at least once. That’s… uh… something?