September 20th, 2012
Why exactly did it explode?
Well, they succeeded in making it even worse than just ten minutes of groping and other silliness by instead packing the second half with all kinds of shadowy planning and arguments between characters who really have nothing to directly do with a single event that happened. What a fantastic way to end a show. Talking
heads shadows and quaternary characters putzing about how everything’s super serious. Good lord. Could you have at least focused it on the main characters? You’d at least think that it would’ve freed up some money to make the finale not embarrassingly poor, but of course not. You’d also think they’d end the show instead of a terrible, corny cliffhanger about going off to have adventures in the other world. But we’ve long since left sense mugged, robbed, violated, and stinking in the gutter at least six or seven episodes ago.
The first half was at least terrible instead of just boring. I’ll never understand one thing though. When the enemy shoots a narrow beam, why must every Japanese character’s first instinct be to try to hit it with something. Sword, fist, face, another beam, whatever. Even Superman… who is invulnerable… dodges at least 10% of the time. Also, I haven’t been paying close attention to the exact science, but the whole SHOCK! bit over him losing a whole one of his bands was ridiculous. Especially with about a half dozen people behind him. At least Pinky gave him hers immediately, as did bitchy. That’s twice as powerful! Wait, no. He already had about 10. So that’s… 10% more sword than he had before! That must be why the dragon exploded. Or maybe it was Second Banana doing something for the first time in the show… only revealed after the fact anyway. Stellar.
What’s left to say? It’s been tedious and boring. Even more so after No Sex moved off the night so there was nothing ready at hand to favorably compare the poor story to. Oh, there were glimmers at the start. Not horrible animation to kick things off, confident and amusing hero sexually harassing girls that needed sexually harassing, and the roaming lesbian also sexually harassing girls that needed sexual harassing, but as things went on, about all that was left of any of that was some overt T&A to fill the time. Is Whose-Her-Face even a lesbian anymore? Did we forget about that entirely?
Then again, that time filling was worlds better than when it tried to be serious. Being bad I can take. Enjoy even. It gives me something to write about. Something to laugh at. Being slow, plodding, and boring though? Ugh. And almost the entire last month or so was the latter. That last arc had less menace to it than the damn cockatrice since it mainly consisted of people sternly glaring at each other and iterating, reiterating, and rereiterating arbitrary plot points. Go back to ancient warlords with G cups, Arms.