天下制覇

That door gets way too much action.

Impressions:

Never let it said that I have done nothing to satiate my audience’s unhealthy thirst for the macabre. Well, aside from that time I tried to feed a Christian to the lions, but that didn’t help them win the NFC that year either. I wouldn’t really say that I watched this either so much as simply let it run while I was working on a spritesheet the size of a small child.

I did sort of tune in when they were faced by the riddle of the magic door. For those who are paying extra close attention to this conundrum, there are 7 spots that need to be triggered at the same time to open it. She has four tentacles. So four of them, plus two hands leaves one left untriggered. What fulfills that job? Isn’t it obvious? It’s the elephant dildo she’s wearing. A tentacled girl pressed up against a door with a giant glowing strap-on dildo thrust into the middle of it. Fantastic. And if you rotate the dildo, she goes from tanned to pale. That’s also apparently the switch for her ass-lamp, because it begins emitting a blinding glow. It also took them about 8 minutes to figure out that the mysterious traveller wearing a tiara with long feminine hair does not in fact have a penis after all, at which point they immediately toss her into a cell to be molested repeatedly. Although I guess when you’re stuck permanently wearing an elephant dildo that you use to unlock doors, sexuality is more of a brainteaser than a matter of biology.

And then they’re attacked by giant tentacle slugs which fall, as all things do, to the power of Horse. Hooray.

Preview:

If you’re reading this, it means that I forgot to change the template.